Eternal Darkness (djeternaldarkne) wrote,
Eternal Darkness
djeternaldarkne

Today on Spam Masterpiece stories

Aesthetic Teens in Hardcore Action

magnificent Just Teens
and fascinating Teenie
from Your dreeam!

Appealing Schoolgirls doing Radiant Sucking

Glorious Russian Bitchs!

Fucking Russian Stunning Girls!

resplendent russian good-looking Womans here!

Last After Hours Update

I got into such a transport, that I felt quite sorry my coat was put my foot in a hole where the Honourable Society of Grays Inn cruel mark; and lifted up the corner of her lip as if with scorn, of my mind; and this, if I had required to be confirmed in my face. We had walked but a little way together, when he said, passionless air, that it seemed as if nothing could disturb. She he had none worth mentioning; but he frowned to that degree that he sparrows to this hour, for nothing else, and see the plumage of the at all mens doors was heard knocking somewhere, every object in tell me stories about Doady, when his shoes were worn out, and he you, what its the price on; and that Im gone, and past receiving rarely spoke a dozen words in an hour: but his quiet interest, and must live. I do no harm. If there are people so unreflecting or rid of you. Go along. Ill talk to you presently. You ask permission of my sister Clarissa and myself, Mr.
across the lawn to Dora sitting on a garden-seat under a lilac the manager of the conference, inasmuch as she had my letter in her Davy? he said, taking up the candle. Bare enough, now, ant it? He looked so wistfully into my face, and was so anxious to subject to that restlessness of limb which is not an unfrequent that the hypocritical knaves were just the subjects to make that

Now let us look at these pieces of work again...Aesthetic Teens in Hardcore Action. The title alone promises all sorts of forbidden delights. And who doesn't like aesthetic teens? Teens characterized by a heightened sensitivity to beauty. Then doing Hardcore action! Like Rock Climbing! Or Base Jumping! You go you aesthetic teens.

This leads us to the next movement by this artist. His attempt at Haiku. The ever tricky and bane of many a high school English class' existence.

magnificent Just Teens - 5 syllables long. Perfect.
and fascinating Teenie - 7 syllables long. Again perfect
from Your dreeam! - only 4 syllables long! So close. With the misspelling you'd have 5 (dre eam) but I'm not giving it to them.

This haiku is at best a C.

Next up, appealing schoolgirls doing radiant sucking. Radiant sucking. Radiant. What a great freaking word. Why they are sucking so hard they are emitting heat or light! How cool is that. They are creating white holes from their sucking power! Unfortunately the follow up line of Glorious Russian Bitches kind of ruins the whole while hole thing. I am sad about that.

Next, fucking Russian Stunning Girls! Who is this Fucking Russian who is stunning girls? Has that Russian have no shame or decency? They are just allowed to run around the streets stunning girls at will!

The next line "resplendent russian good-looking Womans here!", should be taken to mean that a dazzling in appearance good-looking (oh no redundancy there) woman (is) here. They have left of the lowly apostrophe which would make womans into woman's. Alas, they did not. But at least we know HOW the Russian is stunning girls. With her Resplendent good-looks.

Finally, the novel of today's spam. Last After Hours Update. What a good story start.

Unfortunately, it stats with "I got into such a transport, that I felt quite sorry my coat was put my foot in a hole where the Honourable Society of Grays Inn cruel mark; and lifted up the corner of her lip as if with scorn, of my mind; and this, if I had required to be confirmed in my face." Such a run on sentence. I got into such a transport. Such a transport as what? What sort of transport? Well the phrase of "My foot in a hole where the Honourable Society of Grays Inn cruel mark" can only imply on thing. Flying saucers. After all how else do you expect Grays to move? Only in a wormhole capable flying saucer. This would also help determining why he was sorry his coat was put my foot. I think that should be my coat was put in by my foot in a hole...; however, this is only the critics view point. The last phrases where he sees his fellow passenger, the mysterious her. Her with her lips that show scorn, her with lips of scorn that require it to be confirmed in his face. She got in his face, and in his mind, he saw her scorn for his mind.

Next sentence, "We had walked but a little way together, when he said, passionless air, that it seemed as if nothing could disturb." I think that again this sentence would be helped with the use of quotation marks. We had walkd but a little way together, when he said "Passionless air, that it seemed as if nothing could disturb." I personally think that this would make more sense. However, again this is the critics judgment.

This leads us to, "She he had none worth mentioning; but he frowned to that degree that he sparrows to this hour, for nothing else, and see the plumage of the at all mens doors was heard knocking somewhere, every object in tell me stories about Doady, when his shoes were worn out, and he you, what its the price on; and that Im gone, and past receiving rarely spoke a dozen words in an hour: but his quiet interest, and must live." Again a massive run on sentence that abuses our friend the semi-colon. Poor semi-colon to be abuse in such a way in this sentence. "She had none worth mentioning" stated again, she had none of his passionless air or nothing to disturb. She seems to be content in her world without passionless air. Next up we take an avian twist to our story. He is sparrowing to this hour, he is watching the plumage of all men's doors. He is obsessed with birds and passionless air. The knocking, the stories of Doady (whom I can only assume should be Daddy), his worn shoes, the price, they are gone and living in the past on rarely spoken words. However, his quiet interest and he must live.

Our author then states. "I do no harm. If there are people so unreflecting or rid of you. Go along. Ill talk to you presently. You ask permission of my sister Clarissa and myself, Mr." Mr. whom? And is Clarissa the mysterious Her from our first sentence? He does no harm, and he is now trying to give you good advice of walking away from those whom are unreflecting or rid of you. Very Jesus like. Turn your other cheek and walk away. He (again our mysterious he) will talk to you presently; he will talk to you in a short time. You must ask permission of his sister Clarissa. Trust him, he will lead you.

Nearly done, gracious readers. "(A)cross the lawn to Dora sitting on a garden-seat under a lilac the manager of the conference, inasmuch as she had my letter in her Davy?" A letter in her Davy? Is Davy a slang for something? A purse, a box, a chest, or is it Davy Humphry, the British chemist who was a pioneer of electrochemistry, using its methods to isolate sodium and potassium (1807) and barium, boron, calcium, and magnesium (1808). If we are referring to Davy Humphry, isn't keeping a letter in him at least morbid? The letter would be covered in dead chemist.

Finally, "he said, taking up the candle. Bare enough, now, ant it? He looked so wistfully into my face, and was so anxious to subject to that restlessness of limb which is not an unfrequent that the hypocritical knaves were just the subjects to make that." Again, we see that the guide is taking with people around him (obviously he's in a very full space ship of other crazy people) and someone had the foresight to bring along a candle (instead of cursing the darkness, what a powerful statement the author is showing us). The hypocritical knaves who are subject to restlessness of limb, and the newest riders anxiousness to be subjected to the spasms of limbs. Mayhaps a danse macabre or Saint Vitus Dance? Indeed we shall never know how the author wanted to leave his transport. Except it was full of obviously crazy people who are unable to function in the real world. I fear that the travel in the Grays ship and wormhole is far too much for the human psyche and this has caused the guides brain to snap.

And that's all today class on today's Spam Masterpiece Stories.
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