Eternal Darkness (djeternaldarkne) wrote,
Eternal Darkness

Todays Rousing Spam Story!

Today we find ourselves waiting with baited breath as we open our e-mail and we find the following:

From: Karla Hampton
Subject: Bradford wants to know what went wrong NOW?

And the body as follows:

"Any inferiority complex can play pinochle with a skinny oil filter, but it takes a real tripod to give lectures on morality to a steam engine. A worldly chain saw, another pompous burglar, and a buzzard are what made America great! Most people believe that a line dancer requires assistance from a movie theater, but they need to remember how ridiculously an usually twisted demon prays. Any burglar can graduate from some briar patch, but it takes a real chestnut to buy an expensive gift for the umbrella.

When the avocado pit about a wheelbarrow is knowingly green, a snooty bullfrog lazily requires assistance from an overpriced tabloid. The fundraiser is statesmanlike. Furthermore, the righteous polar bear leaves, and a line dancer for a polar bear recognizes a parking lot. When a movie theater ceases to exist, a fraction for the satellite self-flagellates.

im outta here

When a warranty behind the recliner is righteous, a blood clot of the plaintiff gives secret financial aid to the overripe paycheck. If another cab driver near a short order cook overwhelmingly has a change of heart about the fruit cake, then the skyscraper prays. When you see some feverishly college-educated plaintiff, it means that a maelstrom inside a light bulb earns frequent flier miles. Indeed, some single-handledly self-actualized customer figures out the prime minister.

A turkey over an eggplant returns home, or another smelly wheelbarrow secretly admires a crispy short order cook. Indeed, the pig pen of another polar bear figures out a particle accelerator over a salad dressing. Some grand piano non-chalantly satiates a tattered dust bunny. A snooty dolphin trembles, and the fairy panics; however, a feverishly polka-dotted ski lodge learns a hard lesson from the diskette of the chestnut. Now and then, the self-loathing particle accelerator cooks cheese grits for the pathetic corporation.

Joanie "

Ah Joanie, you tricky tricky person. I'm just so stunned. I mean clearly those are all English words, and clearly they can all make sense individually, but the way these words are thrown together, there's not much sense to be made. Inferiority complexes playing pinochle with skinny oil fliters? You know, I personalize my internal demons, but they have YET to play a card game with other objects around my house. And Tripods giving morality lectures of steam engines? Last time I checked a tripod needed 3 to get it up right, and the steam engine needs to just go in and out. Very one track in my opinion. Follow this up with a worldly chain saw, another pompous burglar and a buzzard making America great. I'm afraid Joanie has just lost it. Everyone knows it's actually the worldly chain saw, another pompous burglar and a BLIZZARD that makes America great. Not a buzzard. So sorry Joanie.

Now I may not be most people. As a matter of fact I'm fairly sure I'm only one person (or two, maybe more, depends on what the voices in my head are saying), but I've NEVER believed that line dancing requires the assisstance of a movie theatre. Maybe to stop a cronic line dancer, you need a movie theatre full of people to beat the line dancer into unconsciousness, but not to assist them. The next part is totally wrong. A twisted demon praying is not ridiculous (please see this link for pictures of a twisted demon praying). Now it may look retarded, but that's different that ridiculous.

More questions, why would an umbrella need a gift bought for it by a chestnut? Again, I've had my share of odd experiences, but I've never seen a chestnut by a gift for an umbrella. I've seen men who are nutty about chests by umbrellas for gifts, but not gifts for the umbrellas.

Next up is a lot of animals being drug into this debate. Poor polar bear. I'm sure if either a righteous or line dancing polar bear met Joanie, he'd know how to best get rid of her. And I do not want to know WHY and satelites self-flgellating have to do with each other. Nor do I want to know. Well maybe I do a bit, but just a little bit.

And then Joanie, I'm outta here. She's got the best way to put it. I may add more later on this. Food and animals and words that really don't make much sense.
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