Eternal Darkness (djeternaldarkne) wrote,
Eternal Darkness
djeternaldarkne

Today's Spam

Subject: It's a beautiful day for a beautiful e-mail :p

From: RHODA

<http://ogmgbj.irski.com/?23070178>

cough in drain not solid but knot the control it nation and natural it's page or tight be branch be plane on door on oil a straight try fold see page try punishment be canvas a steam may rain and prison see black some thunder may attack in ice some observation may monkey impulse not suggestion , mixed building the fall try brake may walk in flame it's true ! use be band on , boy but idea see horse ! bread on representative some manager be leather not turn but milk on disease it's opinion not first try bright it seat the square

ah RHODA, again we see the spam story. Punctuation shot at this paragraph like a Dick Cheney with his hunting buddies. Allow us to see what we can do with some simply punctuation.

Cough in drain. Not solid, but knot the control. It nation and natural; it's page or tight be branch, be plane. On door, on oil, a straight try fold see page try punishment. Be canvas! A steam may rain and prison see black. Some thunder may attack in ice. Some observation. May monkey impulse! Not suggestion, mixed building the fall try brake. May walk in flame! It's true! Use be band on, boy but idea see horse! Bread on representative! Some manager be leather! Not turn, but milk on disease! It's opinion not first try bright, it seat the square.

Ok, so I don't know if that's much better. However, it seems to make more sense now. Maybe. So let's parse this out, shall we my adventurous readers?


Cough in drian. Seems fairly straight forward, RHODA wants us to cough in a drain. However, who's drain? Imagine the possibilities if this would have been filled out correctly. Cough in George W's drain! In Carrot Top's drain! In anyones drain you want a disease to go to! How perfect this sentance could have been, and how ruined by the lack of a noun.

Not solid, but knot the control. RHODA is trying to hard for the clever audio pun here (not and knot). It is not solid, but there is a knot in the control. Some control get's knotted up and it's no longer solid. What was it before? This question RHODA does not bother to answer.

It nation and natural; it's page or tight be branch, be plane. Nearly poetry. As you can see, I pulled out our friend the semi-colon to make this a much better phrase (as one can hardly count it as a sentance). Again, if it would have been "It's nation or natural; it's page..." this little phrase could have made more sense. Alas no such luck.

On door, on oil, a straight try fold see page try punishment. Something is or someone is spurring on items. One can imagine a jolly fat man with a whip, joyously cracking it, On Door! On Oil! (strange names for moose I realize, but still, I can't see a jolly fat man yelling this at reindeer). However, RHODA reveil's something of themselves, by the phrase a straight. Not the straight, but a straight. A straight trying to fold. See the page, try the punishment. Punish a straight who is trying to fold. RHODA is just rude and biased against straights (which really I can't blame her after the recent decisions of the various state supreme courts saying marriage only exists for children (Micky and Ogre I'm looking at you two! This means you're both single now).

Be canvas! A steam may rain and prison see black. Some thunder may attack in ice. Some observation. A call from RHODA to be canvas! Allow yourself to be colored by your reality. After all A steam may rain and a prison see black. Just two different views of the same thing. And remember, some thunder may attack in ice, which is an observation. Some observation obviously.

May monkey impulse! Not suggestion, mixed building the fall try brake. This of course is a coded message for my brother haate. Remember, MAY MONKEY IMPULSE! I'm sure it'll trigger some hypnotic command to destroy a building or something like that. Maybe this is how the terrorists use people to create two part explosives that are all being dumped into the same bin at the airport.

May walk in flame! It's true! Use be band on, boy but idea see horse! Bread on representative! Some manager be leather! Not turn, but milk on disease! It's opinion not first try bright, it seat the square. Obviously some from of command again. May! Yes May walk in flame. May light youself on fire and walk around! Do it now. We'll wait.

Oh wait, no May's read this journal. Ok never mind. May DON'T light youself on fire.

Use be band on, boy but idea sea horse! I thought it was a referance to a boy band at first, but then I see the sea horse and I know this phrase is about Spongebob and Squidworth which makes nearly as much sense. After all look at the fast food reference in the next phrase. Bread on representative! Just put some bread on a representative and you have a representative sammich! Sammich!

Some manager be leather! I think RHODA forgot the next line, some managers be leather, some managers be lace. What this has to do with anything, again, I'm not sure, but RHODA must have seen the signifigance in it to include it.

Not turn (a clever play on nocturn) but milk on disease! Milk that disease on all night! Shake the disease, love the disease, smack the disease, but make sure you milk it for all you can. Maybe this is how RHODA meets people by milking an incurable disease and getting pity sex.

It's opinion not first try bright (obviously RHODA knows it's not a smart way to get love yet RHODA can't stop), it's seat the square. Obvioulsy RHODA sees themselves as a round peg trying to go into a square seat, and I believe it's not working.

And that's all RHODA s
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