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Taken for lolitarose

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.

don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
cynickal
Nov. 29th, 2005 10:49 pm (UTC)
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a Goth is drunk, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is walking alone at night, don't rape him/her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is wearing a short skirt, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is asleep in him/her bed, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is asleep in your bed, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is doing him/her laundry, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth is in a coma, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth changes him/her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape him/her.
if a Goth has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape him/her.

if a Goth is not yet a Goth, but a child, don't rape him/her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape him/her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape him/her.
if you break into a house and find a Goth there, don't rape him/her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious Goth upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape him/her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your Goth friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that s/he could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way his/her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk Goth.

don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
ms_vermilion
Nov. 29th, 2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
I can't tell if this is at all related to the point you were trying to make, but it is important to recognize that rape is not a danger exclusive to women. I personally know three men who were raped and they have each gone through similar experiences of trauma, humiliation, shame, feelings of violation, etc.

Nobody should have to endure the horror of rape, and it is 100% the responsibility of potential rapists to not commit the act.
777_ex_angel
Nov. 29th, 2005 10:50 pm (UTC)
Amen
robert_from_ap
Nov. 29th, 2005 10:53 pm (UTC)
Wait, I'm confused, when CAN you rape someone?
cynickal
Nov. 30th, 2005 06:39 pm (UTC)
When he's wearing his baseball cap backwards.
geekers
Nov. 30th, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC)
According to this... if the person you want to rape is a drunk male or male wearing a short skirt, etc.
djeternaldarkne
Nov. 30th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
Dude, if he's in a short skirt and drunk, he's TOTALLY asking for it!
robert_from_ap
Nov. 30th, 2005 08:15 pm (UTC)
I don't know, there are just too many rules.

He takes all the fun out of it.
parlor_games
Nov. 29th, 2005 11:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you, darling. I wish more men understood this - they can do a LOT more to prevent rape than they realize.

Two things people bring up in response to stuff like this:
Men (or women) will claim that sometimes a woman says no when she means yes...well shame on her! Any woman who does that does should be taken at her word, and avoided. It is not right to play games like that. But she still said no. And...well...that's final.

It is ALSO NOT OKAY for a woman to claim rape when it didn't happen. That is some sick shit, but thankfully very rare (and probably a very good indication of that woman's mental health...). I do not know a woman who would tolerate that behavior in anyone.

Thanks again...


thanatoid
Nov. 29th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC)
thank you for this
as someone still trying to recover from having 2 men try to force themselves on her while extremely drunk, i very much appreciate the idea that we as people should not stand silently by and watch this happen to someone. it was a friend who (despite being out-numbered and facing 2 huge body builders) stepped in to help me that prevented them.

and i give props to ms_vermilion; men experience rape too. Because they are even less likely to report it than women (and if they do, far less likely to be taken seriously and receive the care that a woman would), the effects can be far more traumatic and lasting.

having said that, i would remove this one line: don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.

i still think it's important to teach women how to minimize their risk. had i even considered the possibility that i might be in danger of something like that, it would not have happened. the sad fact is, there are many people who simply don't care what someone else wants (or more importantly, *doesn't* want) and will force themselves if they can. and there are still people who lack the courage and character to stand up to rapists, or stand up for their victims. we as people should make a big effort at reducing the numbers of both.

i say this because although i've struggled with the guilt, the i shouldn't have worn that, shouldn't have gotten so drunk, shouldn't have let them get me alone, should have known what they would try to do for years, i still say that teaching women to exercize caution is important, and that it doesn't place blame or responsibility on her. because from this side of the table, i'd take just about anything that would have kept that from happening (or happening again).
parlor_games
Nov. 30th, 2005 12:06 am (UTC)
Re: thank you for this
well said
sweetestkiss
Nov. 30th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
Thank you.
twilightstar
Nov. 30th, 2005 02:51 am (UTC)
Thank you for posting this.
violetvixen
Nov. 30th, 2005 08:35 am (UTC)
Huzzah!
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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